Fostering Hope: She isn't mine...forever.

Angie's GAL came over today for her first visit. It went well, she talked more about her kids and her car than she did Angie and her case. She did chime in before she left "Remember your're not suppose to get attached. If it helps, there will be more after her..."

At first, I was a bit offended. Not get attached? Do you even realize what your saying, lady? You try caring for this little girl for just a week & then come back and tell me that again! So I vented, nobody understands! Thankfully, I vent to the right people and I was quickly and lovingly reminded that it is not about US. Fostering is not about me and MY feelings. It's not about what I want to happen. It's not about what I think is best. It's not about ME getting attached. It's not about me or us at all. It's about this little girl, and what is really and truly best for her...

(in this picture, she saw my camera out and said "hey mommy I'll smile now!")

Can I just say, I never expected it to be like this. I never expected to be placed with a child who fits so perfectly into our home and our family. I never, ever expected her to be such a wonderful, sweet child. I never expected my heart to melt into pieces when she tells me "Mommy don't leave me I will be sad". Or how happy I would be to hear Riley introduce her to a stranger as her sister. I never thought I could or would love a child so quickly. I "knew" it was hard letting foster children go...but she isn't even gone yet (and there is no talk of her leaving for at least a few more months...) but I am already deeply dreading that day.

Her GAL is right...though. Not about getting attached. But there will be more, even if it's hard to think about having any other child except her here. She is isn't mine forever...

And I have super limited time to enjoy her, love her, pray over her, teach her and hold her.

Then give her over to God & trust that he will do that when we no longer can. Someone told me today that they had to give a baby back who they had since the day he was born, he was now 6 mo old. They knew he wasn't going back to a good situation, and the foster mom said she felt like she was going to die, for days. The world was ending and there was nothing she could do. Hurt. These kids, Angie...is worth the hurt. God will heal us, and he will care for her. He has it planned out already.

Here's to enjoying & celebrating every second God gives us with her! :)