My Testimony

It is no secret that God has been working in my life over the past year. Since I was saved in February, I have grown spiritually, learned a lot and I’ve made a complete 180-degree turn from who I once was. It has been a great journey, and the hardest journey at that. God is just beginning with me, and he has BIG plans. Jer.29:11 is a verse I hold onto every singe day, “For I know the plan’s I have for you, declares the lord. Plan’s to prosper you and not harm you…plans to give you hope and future.” But, I have not just grown from the past year; I have grown from living a life that lead to destruction. A life I am not proud of, but it’s the life that lead me to God.
I grew up Catholic, went to a Catholic school and all. Went to church every Sunday, received all of my sacraments. It never meant anything to me, I had never heard of having a relationship with God, and up until 4 years ago I believed that the only way I was going to go to heaven was if it was a Saturday afternoon, right after confession OR if I was wearing a scapular at the time of my death.
When I was about 9 years old, a military cop molested me on numerous occasions; he was my “best friends” dad. After this continued for what seemed like forever, I worked up the courage to tell my parents. I was really nervous, and it turn’s out, all my parent’s did was tell me that I could not sleep over their anymore. Needless to say…it continued then until they moved.
This pattern seemed to follow me for the next few years, as I was molested numerous time’s by two different cousins. I remember trying to make deal’s with God to get it all to stop. I’d say “God, if you make all of this go away, I promise I’ll never lie to my parents again.” Or “God, if you make this stop, I’ll never ask you for anything else again.” But, it didn’t stop.
This eventually lead to me being raped when I was 14. I hid it from my parent’s, Surely they wouldn’t believe me , they didn’t before. It has been bottled inside for the past six years. Shortly after, I began turning to men for attention. I ended up getting bored with just men, and started popping pills, drinking, and smoking pot. My friend’s and I would get into bars and clubs with ID’s that said we were in our 30’s, and in my head…I was living the life. God? What about God? I’m having a blast, who care’s what God thinks. Where was he before?
At 17, I found myself pregnant. Thing’s seemed to have gotten better, I mean, I was pregnant, So I couldn’t go out and drink or smoke…I was kind of forced to stop. I was happily playing “house” with my boyfriend, who was a full-blown atheist. Our home was full of little devil figurines, books on atheism, and he was sucking me into believing that there was no God altogether. I didn’t mind, I was still “happy”. Over the next two years, we had our baby, had another, and finally got married.
We lied to the Catholic Church and told them that he believed in God, so that we could get married there, for my parents. When our wedding rolled around, an Uncle of mine asked me why we chose the Catholic church to get married in. The only thing I could tell him, was for my parents. That very well may have been God trying to knock some sense into me, because for the next month or so after our wedding, the ONLY thing I could think about was finding a church to go to as a family and how pathetic my answer to his question was. We found ourselves bringing our girl’s to Oktoberfest last year, because it looked fun. That night, we were invited to come to Praise by a friend, and when I asked my husband…he said “no thanks”, but I didn’t give up. When that Sunday rolled around, I dragged him and the girls to church. Little did I know, that one Sunday last year is when GOD got a hold of me and my husband, we felt his love…it is un-explainable what happened that Sunday, and Thank God, we will never be the same again. My husband accepted Jesus that very day, and I accepted him a few months later.

My journey from salvation to now has been amazing, and very…hard. Surrendering your life to God, living for him and honoring him with everything you do and say is not easy! But he never said it would be, and God has shown himself faithful! Now that I have a relationship with God, I know that everything that I’ve done and been through in the past, he is going to use to glorify him. Psalm 40:2 “ He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand”. He loved me in my filth, and he was there by my side through everything. He saved me from death, he saved me from keeping my children from knowing him, he is a MIGHTY God, and his love, mercy and grace is overwhelming.
Now, my life is about one thing. GOD. About bringing him honor and praise in every thing I do and say. I have much more to learn, and I am ready for what God has planned for my family’s life. There is no giving up, and there is no turning back. Hebrews 12:1 says “ Since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us, we do this…by keeping our eyes on Jesus.” He is everything. It is all about God, and if we keep our eyes on him at all times, everything else will fall into place. Mathew 6:33 “Seek first his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be added as well”.
My words cannot express the love God has for us and how thankful I am that he pulled me out of the pit! Keep focus on God, he never said it would be easy, he just promised it was going to be worth it.