Fostering Hope

It's been ten days since we got the call for A.

Ten days since I walked into social services knowing nothing but that there is a little girl who needs a home for a while.

I remember the worker bringing me back and opening a door into a teeny tiny play room. There she was. Her hair in a pony tail, the very first thing I noticed was her curls.

She wasn't afraid to go with me.

The case worker gave me a trash bag of her stuff, and told me the few things they knew about her...and we were on our way home.

Ten days since my three beautiful, loving girls opened their hearts and made room for her here.

From sharing a bedroom. Sharing toys. Sharing clothes & shoes. Sharing their home, sharing their mom and dad. I have amazing little girls, word's cannot express how proud I am of them.

Ten days ago I was not prepared for parenting a hurting child. I read the books, I stalked the blogs, I kept up with the forums. But everything I thought I knew is a big blurr now. The reality of holding this little girl at night while she cries out for her granddaddy keeps me from remembering any of it. No book or blog can prepare you for it. I hurt for her. I want her to be able to see her grandaddy and big sister. I hurt for her because it's not fair, because she shouldn't be here at all. I shouldn't have to try to explain to her where her grandparents and sister are and why we can't go see them. I wonder how her parents are doing...what they think about all of this. I wonder if they will get it together for her. I wonder about the day she leaves us. I don't want to...but this is what we signed up for, right? I just hope God is ready to wipe away a whole bunch of tears.

"Be still and know that he is God"...Psalms 46:10

So we are filling our days up with appointments, shopping, and lots of playing outside! Baby brother will be here in two short months. It will be here before we know it...I can't wait to have a snugly little baby to hold, nurse, and sling again. We are headed for vacation in a few weeks, too. One full week of relaxation. Pshhhh who am I kidding, vacation with four little ones is not relaxing, but it will be fun and I am especially excited to be able to bring A with us.

God is good.